Influence

For my Leadership class a few semesters ago, we were asked to share our own "A-ha!" moments. I shared mine as the time when I went to a fastfood with my older sister and my then-four-year-old nephew. The fastfood offered bottomless drinks.

I ordered just one glass for the three of us.

We were eating and my nephew, who just started to learn to read, read out loud "Please do not share your drinks." He turned to my sister and exclaimed, "Mom! Why are we sharing?"

And I stopped and thought how we don't think sometimes and not realize how we influence others.

Since I helped facilitate the mini camp a few months ago for kids aged 12 to 14, I have to be a bit more cautious about the way I act. They follow me on Twitter and in Facebook. So I have to remember that I'm not just dealing with people my age.

Wow, where did I get this sense of maturity? Haha.

Story of My Life

My friends introduced me to one of their eligible friends. (It's kinda funny to use that adjective).

This was the night after Guy #1 (the guy I've been writing about for the past posts) got drunk during the event and said thinks that I found unfair.

So let's call this "eligible" guy as Guy #2. He's eight years older and unfortunately shorter than me. But since we had dinner as a group (with my married friends) the conversation was fun, interesting and even intelligent (I was surrounded by Harvard graduates).

It turns out he knows my brother in law. Small world isn't it.

I honestly don't mind getting to know him more. He added me in Facebook that very night during dinner. But he didn't ask for my number.

Guess he's just not that into me.

It's just how it goes for me. There's a guy who likes me (Guy #1) and then I find Guy #2 interesting but he's not interested. I couldn't help but thank why can't Guy #2 see what Guy #1 sees in me.

Of course we just can't have it all.

I'll just be patient till I find the one I'll like and likes me back.

Playing with Emotions

I hate it when people make me feel guilty.

Last night, I saw the guy I've been writing about in my past few entries. We attended the same event. Somehow I knew something was wrong before the event because he didn't bother asking me what time I was going, etc. This assumption was made based on his track record for the past weeks.

He showed up late and I waved at him just like I would any other friend. He sat beside me several times, but I acted nonchalantly. I was there to be around a lot of friends. I didn't want him to stick too close (I guess my walls were up).

Somehow later that night he got a bit drunk. He sat down beside me and was edging his chair too close. He was pouring himself a drink and that was proof that he was a bit drnk because it was splashing a bit, some on me.

I'm sure my body language was obvious that I was leaning away from him.

He started saying things like "I'm glad you're here," and "Even if you don't mind my messages (via Blackberry) -- even if it hurts, it's okay -- as long as you read them."

I didn't want to respond, it just wasn't the right time. Luckily there was a diversion that allowed me to stand up and walk away.

I don't want to hurt him, but I was left with no choice. He's been moving too fast and the situation was forcing me to make a decision. I couldn't see why we couldn't just be friends first. He didn't have to smother me with calls, messages and visits. I didn't even get the chance to get to know him much because there was already the pretense that he was interested in me. It started that I was confused and didn't know. But after last night, I guess my instincts were already saying "no".

Then still talking about guilt. My employee has been on leave for weeks now. Originally she said she would be back by third week July. She moved it to beginning of August. I texted her July 31. She said just not yet.

She finally texted yesterday saying she can come back next week. Lucky for her I didn't find someone else yet. I didn't respond to her text yesterday yet. I replied this morning with a simple "ok". Then she replied with thanks and said she worried I didn't want her to come back na.

Why do people have to say things that have to make people feel guilty when I didn't do anything wrong? If I did something wrong to you then fine, put on a layer of sarcasm or something. But not when it was you who didn't do things right.

Scared yet excited!

I'm gonna start a new business (that's still related to my existing one). It's the first risk I'm taking since four years ago when I put up my business. The capital isn't as big, so the stakes aren't so high. But my hopes for this is great. So I really hope I'm not over-shooting. If it works it, it has the potential to be big. Not so big, but big enough. I really hope it works out and everything pays off!

she's just not that into you

I couldn't help but write about this. The guy I mentioned in my previous post is just always around. He calls me, brings me some Starbucks to my class, and just leaves messages. I'm not getting any younger so I'm trying to see some potential in him. He's taller than me (which has been one of my requirements all along), has a decent job, is responsible, and he just seems so into me.

But he isn't stirring anything in me.

I'm not sure till when I would wait to conclude that it's hopeless. I just don't want to force myself and end up settling for less than what I deserve or want.

This might help other guys out there too. Here are ten signs she's just not that into you, based on my experiences. It might help girls realize too if the guy isn't just doing it for her.

1. She doesn't reply to all your text messages.
2. If she does reply, messages are short, and hardly any smiley faces.
3. She doesn't agree to watch your basketball game.
4. She doesn't answer all your phone calls. (Try calling using a different number a few minutes after she doesn't answer. And if she answers, it means you're screwed.)
5. When you bring her food, or surprise her with your presence, and she doesn't seem too thrilled. (In my experience, I feel disturbed.)
6. She only goes out with you if it's a group thing, and she knows the other people.
7. She ends up talking to the other people more during the group hangout.
8. She hasn't accepted your invite to follow her on Twitter.
9. She's still checking out other guys when she's with you.
10. She doesn't ask enough questions about you, but answers your questions about her.

Reading this, I think I already have my answer. Maybe I should save this poor guy from wasting more time and money on me.

31 Years of Solitude

My friends know that I've been single for 31 years now.

People have their own interpretations on why that is so: high standards, not going out enough, etc. (Just to make it clear, I don't think I'm ugly. Not gorgeous. But pleasant enough.)

I chatted with an old friend the other day, and she asked me if I finally have a boyfriend. I said no; that there are guys around, but there's just something off about them.

She said that it's good that I'm not settling (for less than what I deserve). I liked that she said that. Because I think that's the reason why.

I was reading one of my chick lit books, and a 40-something playboy was asked why he hasn't settled down yet. He replied, "When I meet someone I enjoy being with more than being alone. I will marry her."

Amen to that.

I've just grown to be independent, that it takes a while for me to get used to people around me.

There's this guy who seems to be interested in me. Last week I saw him with some other friends to watch a movie. We were the first two to arrive. Instead of sitting down somewhere, he said we can just walk around. Walking around the mall, I felt unease. Mainly I guess since I didn't know him well yet. But another reason was that I usually go around malls alone. Sometimes with my mom, or my sister... but usually alone. Then there's this guy who was pretty much an acquaintance still, and I wasn't comfortable walking around with him in the familiar place.

Even the first time he called me too, I felt he was disturbing my peace. (a sign that I wasn't that interested huh).

The past 31 years must have put up walls around me, and I'm afraid it would take a lot of effort for a guy to break into it.

But then again, maybe if I was equally interested in the guy, I would lower them for him.

Puppy Love

I see the interactions online of the kids from camp and I couldn't help but smile on how some of them are getting along.

There's the 12-year old kids who are supposedly together. Here's in a thread in our camp Facebook group:

Girl: I really had a rough day today... sorry :(

Boy: awwwww are you ok :(

Girl: not really :(

Boy: noooooo :(

Girl: can we talk on chat?

Sigh, puppy love. I never had one. But it's pretty cute. I don't now if I can say the same if and when I have kids though.

Sister, Sister

I truly have an odd relationship with my younger sister.

Our personalities clash. I often get pissed with her; I'm sure she feels the same way about me. If she were not my sister and --- say, was my classmate, I wouldn't be friends with her.

Case in point: we watch a lot of the same TV shows, but we download them separately. (she hogs the wifi since she also seeds.)

But despite this, I guess family's family. I worry about her when she rides the cab or the MRT wearing clothes that will attract attention. I try to help promote the pastries she makes. I buy her chocolate or ice cream when she asks me to.

I'm such a sucker.

Deal Breaker

My professor a few sems ago joked that when you get older, your standards when it comes to partners get lower. Out of desperation maybe?

How do you define your standards? People have asked me what my type was, I couldn't seem to describe it, since my past crushes have proved that I don't have a particular one.

The guy my friend's dating told me I should meet his best friend but my friend said that I only go for good boys. Somehow I know she's right; that I want someone who I can introduce to my parents. Not someone just for fun.

But I meet someone who's interested and I wonder if it's possible that he's too nice? He's tall, decent-looking and has a decent job. But he doesn't excite me. But then again, maybe I'm speaking too soon. Let's see if I'll eat my words one of these days.

A quirk about him is that he keeps on posting pictures of himself on Facebook. It's not something I'm used to. I don't take pictures of myself. That's why I rarely change my profile picture. I usually end up just cropping a picture someone took of me.

But is it a bit too much if I get turned of because he likes taking pictures of himself and posting them online?

How do I know if the deal breaker is a valid one, and not just me getting into the nitty-gritty of his personality?

Friends of Friends

Am I obliged to like the friends of my friends?

Is it equivalent to approving of friends' boyfriends or girlfriends?

My friend has been hanging out with this group of people and I feel like they (particularly one person) isn't being a good influence on her. Should I let her now or just let her be since she's old enough to make her own decisions?

At least there are only a few times I encounter them together. But I couldn't help but feel unease or even cringe whenever I'm with them.

I just hope it won't affect my friendship with my friend.

Untitled

I've never had a best friend.

Close friends, yes. I have a few. But I can't name one as my best friend. And I don't know anyone who would could me his/her best friend.

From kindergarten to high school, I jumped from peer group to peer group, trying to see where I would fit in the most. It was only in high school that I stayed with a group for more than two years.

I try to think why it's been that way for me. I was trying to fit in. And also, I have this tendency of getting tired of people. I suddenly wondered if I had commitment issues even with friends.

But I'd like to think I'm improving on it. Still no best friends. But I'm exerting more effort to keep in touch with people. Being surrounded with more friends I'm getting to know myself more.

me before you

It's been a while since a book made me really cry.

This one achieved in doing just that. The topic itself is really serious -- about a girl who took the job of being the carer for a 35-year old quadriplegic for 6 months. But the writing was great and wasn't boring at all. I managed to read it in less than 24 hours. (of course not non-stop)

I won't spoil the story, but it made me think about the disabled, people's tolerance, living life to the fullest, love, family and a lot more. It made me laugh, fall in love, and cry. It moved me so much that I had a hard time sleeping afterwards because of all the thoughts that were filling my brain.

It's a very good read, and you'd still think about it hours and days after!

Jaded

I read a quote on twitter yesterday. I couldn't remember the exact words, but it pretty much said not to attach yourself too much to anyone or else you'll just get disappointed. The second right after I read it, I was thinking "There's something wrong here." But when I thought about it further, maybe there's truth to it.

I couldn't name anyone who is my "best friend". I never had one.

Even during my grade school and high school years, I flitted in and out of barkadas (peer groups) because I couldn't fully identify myself with any of them.

In college where I was in the state university, I felt I belonged more, but I wasn't attached to anyone. I had close friends, but I didn't plan my days with them. I was still doing things independently.

There are only a few people now I can talk to about personal stuff, but it still varies. I have someone to talk about MBA stuff, someone to talk about other stuff, etc.

There has been one girl who's been the closest to what I would identify as a "best friend". We don't call each other that, but I could talk to her about a lot of stuff. She's a good listener. I guess that's why I gravitated to her whenever I had stories or problems. But she's just a very social person, and has a lot of people she talks to.

I just can't help but feel hurt if she forgets some of the stuff I've told her (even major ones). Yes, a priest can forget about my confessions, but not one of the person who I've considered one of my closest friends.

I don't know if I have high expectations, but maybe I really have to work on my expectations with people. I just hate getting disappointed.

It's All About Mystery

Most of us are drawn to someone because of their sense of mystery. I guess we all have curious minds or want a challenge to break into someone's mind.

I'm semi--crushing on someone because he's mysterious, and I'm naturally curious about what he's thinking or what he's going to do next.

Isn't that why Edward Cullen was attracted to Bella Swan in the first place? Because he can read everyone's mind but hers.

Unfortunately, I'm an open book. My face speaks volumes. I don't want to force myself to become mysterious when that's not me. So I don't really know how I can match up with someone who's naturally mysterious.

Dangerous Grounds

There's this guy who's my classmate the second time around. He's been quite friendly since the first class we shared. He's said things before like "Let's have coffee" or "Hope we become classmates again."

But the thing is, he has a girlfriend. So I don't know if he's just being friendly or I have to watch out.

Lately during class, since we sit at opposite ends of the room, he’d text me. I guess it’s the modern-age passing of notes. They’re just friendly texts. Then on my birthday he greeted me and said he’d treat me out. I didn’t really think about it much.

Last night during class he texted  “Snow White’s showing already unless you despise Bella Swan.” So I replied that even if I didn’t like Kristen Stewart, come on, it’s THOR! Our conversation was cut short when the professor announced we had a seatwork that would run until 9 in the evening. He texted again saying he thought we would be dismissed early.

I finished my seatwork a little before 9 and left immediately. It was a rainy Friday night, I wanted a head start.

It was almost 10 when I got another text from him, saying that I have a safe trip home. (I was already home by then), and he commented I left the class so fast. I replied that I didn’t want to spend any more time than necessary in school on a Friday night. Then he replied “I wanted to ask if you wanted to watch Snow White.”

Oops. I just gave a flippant reply, but it left me wondering.

If he asked me before I left class I think I would have been tempted to say yes if he asked me. Does it mean anything if a guy asks a girl out to a movie? But who knows, it might have been with a group?

But good thing he didn’t ask in time. Maybe I should stay clear. Just being friendly or not, I want to respect his relationship with his girlfriend. God help me.

Semi-Crushes or Not

I rarely get crushes on non-Celebrities (read: REAL people) but lately all I get are semi-crushes. My friend and I were talking about it, and my semi-crushes seem just like compromises. Like I had nothing better to do, or couldn’t find anyone better. So I’m settling for something less. On the other hand, I doubt a lot of people ended up with their actual crushes right (not everyone’s like Katie Holmes) so it might be good enough that you’re somewhat attracted to the personal already. But the problem is, they don’t seem to like me back 

out of boredom

I searched my name in urban dictionary and found these two definitions: 1. a really sexy, super fit girl, with a Beautiful smile, an amazing girl 2. Super cute, funny, and makes everyone smile. Can be very hyper but also very sweet. Naaaaaakkkkkkkkkssssss!

So Sorry

I broke someone's heart. I think it's the first time I did it face to face. I'm not the most coherent person, but he got what I was saying. The look on his face is stamped in my brain. I still feel bad because he's still a friend, that's why it was harder for me. I just hope we both can get past this. I hope we've already established a strong enough friendship to still be friends and hopefully get back to how it was before. I hope I don't have to do that ever again.

Thanks, but No Thanks

This guy is giving me extra attention. It's just so frustrating that we were good friends, everything was great, then his extra attention and gestures are starting to make me feel uncomfortable. He hasn't really said anything, just his actions show he's interested in me. So I really can't say anything. I've been avoiding him, and I guess I should continue to do so. It's just that it's hard when we've been friends for over a year now, and we have a lot of common friends, and I share a class with him. Guys should consider if the girl is somewhat interested in them first before doing anything, because they just ruin things when they start doing things. It just make things awkward.

Always the Case

It's the story of my life. The guys I'm interested in don't like me back, and those I don't care much about are the ones pestering me. Why h why? Am I giving off the wrong signals or am I just unlucky?

My First Camp Experience

Last week, I fell in love... 

... with 42 kids :)

I agreed to help staff a camp a couple months back, and after a couple of months of planning, it finally happened. 

It started Wednesday. It was really scary at first since I was in charge of riding the bus with the kids going there. Since I was new I didn't know any kid at all, unlike some of my co-staffers. so i hardly spoke to them during the bus ride. There are 42 kids total. All of them aged 12-14 except one who's still 11.

From the fort pick up point, we collected some more kids along SLEX before heading to the site in Talisay, Batangas. So it was much better when we arrived at site then my co-staffers were there. Some of the kids are repeaters so some of my co-staffers knew them.

We had some getting to know you games with the kids for the first day. Something like the "appointment game" where we each talk to someone to get to know them. We also introduced to them the idea of planning groups, wherein they're divided into groups to prepare an activity for everyone else. But we had a theme for the whole camp: Sustainable development. So they had sub-topics for them to tackle. But the activities they think of are running games or what. They came up with activities such as amazing race or patintero, etc. The whole camp name is "Camp Dream" since we're pointing out their dreams won't come true unless they practice sustainable development.

For meal time we each designed a placemat, so for every meal time we rotated the placemats, so you get to sit with different people. i got to know them then. There were a loooot of povedans. So at least I was able to connect with them a bit. But when they asked me when I graduated, I realized I graduated from HS they weren't born yet! Hahaha. But they're surprised I know about Justin Bieber (as in trivia) and One Direction. Haha. So it kind of helped that I have this tendency to absorb pop culture trivia (but not the more important facts)

I had my favorite kids though. I couldn't help it. I'm still waiting for the friendship bracelet one of them's making me :)

Then every night there's half an hour of lullabies. We have a co-staffer who plays the guitar and is part of some band. So he leads the songs. It's amazing. The songs are old. As in beatles -- songs like Imagine, Let It Be, Yellow Submarine. Then others like Hotel California and Leaving on a Jetplane. But they know it. Amazing.

Then we had this game one night called "Dead Bodies". It's funny. Each of us staffers (6 of us) will play dead. The kids by group will find us dead bodies and bring us somewhere. They were CARRYING us can you believe? Hahaha. So like 5 or 6 kids were carrying me. At least they could :P  But while they carry us they had to take care of us. They will sing us lullabies, fan us, etc. Cute!

We also had a party for them and we had a candle ceremony for the last night. It was quite sad since we got attached to them over the few days. Like on the last lullabies session, one of them was lying on my lap since he was sleep. So maybe I have hope. Maybe I can be a mother after all :P

For almost every night, when the kids are asleep that's only when the staffers can shower. Then after taking a bath, staffers would have adult socials. Drinks, games where the kids won't hear us. We didn't get much sleep. The last night we slept na almost 5am, and i woke up 7am! 

We also had a "monito" --  exchange gift. For your monito you can give surprise gifts like hugs (you can ask others to hug your monito for you), or even songs. Anything you can think of. One dinner time three of the boys got their guitar and sang a One Direction song for me :) I assume it's from the one who picked me. Then one Lullabye, my co-staffer who led the songs said, "the Next lullaby is for Tita". Then winked. Was it from him? Or from my monito?

There was only one downer. During the last day, I saw Miguel doing his bracelet for me, so I approach him. He said "tita, I have a secret. Tito X likes you!"

My heart dropped (not out of happiness) but more of disappointment. The whole camp experience was like a dream. Like everything was going right and everything you wanted it to be. Then I don't know what X told the kids. I was kinda pissed at him na the kids had to know it.

Anyways we brought the kids to the SLEX pick up point, where 10 of the kids were picked up. A couple of my favorites were the first to go and I was so sad :( Then the rest were picked up at Fort . I had drinks with the other staffers after. So at least we kinda prolonged pa the experience.

I'm seeing them all again tomorrow, and I can't wait!

Love Caste System

I grew up surrounded with people from all walks of life. I've grown up with my own share of insecurities. I try to learn how to get over them, but there are instances that trigger them to come out.

I went to an event today. And I met a guy who was tall and cute and charming. I just met all of them in the table I ended up sitting in today, but he made an effort to bring me into the conversation. He has political and showbiz connections, so I guess I just took the opportunity to meet new people. But it made me think that no guy with that stature would be interested in me.

I know it's not a healthy way of thinking. I have to learn how to get over that.

But he didn't ask me for my number. But why would he? Maybe he's dating someone, or I'm just not up to par with the celebrities he's dated. (Okay, okay, insecurities are coming out again).

I guess it's just a matter of finding someone who I could connect with, and I would feel that we deserve each other and that I would forget my insecurities. I just hope to find him sooner than later.

Am I an Intellectual Snob?

I just spent the last four months reading about empowering employees for class for long-term success of the company.

My very first employee is just one month into the job and I'm already getting frustrated with her. Am I being too hard?

My cousin-in-law, the one who referred her, said she wasn't a leader. And that she's taken her teacher licensure exam a few times now but hasn't passed. I know board exams are tough, so I gave her a break. How hard would it be to sell items? And she did spend 3 years with my cousin-in-law in a retail business too.

But all she does is clean and I've started testing her on her familiarity with the products and her progress is quite slow. All she does is clean and clean. As much as I appreciate that, I need to see that she will learn the products within the next 2 months until her probation ends.

I really do hope she proves to be worth it. It's not easy to find someone, but I can't afford someone who will not be able to hold the fort if I'm away, and don't need me to babysit her all the time.

Argh

It's so frustrating when potentially good guy friends screw things up when they start asking you out, when you just aren't attracted to them that way.

If I remember correctly, it's the second time it's happened.

Here's what happened now:

A classmate of mine added me on Facebook. I wasn't so busy then yet, so I would be online and he would start a chat. He invited me to a party around Christmas time, and that was how he got my number, so he could follow up with me.

It seemed innocent enough. I was just making friends. I wasn't able to go to that party. I didn't really think much about it, I just didn't know enough people in the party. He seemed like a decent enough friend until he started asking me out, and saying he was going to send me flowers for Valentine's Day. Who says it in advance anyway?

Now I have this bad habit of sometimes not replying to text messages. And with the way he was being persistent, I wasn't replying to several of his text messages. But he did send me flowers and a cake for Valentine's. I wasn't exactly moved by it. (I must have written a post about this) It was an obvious sign I wasn't into him.

But he asked me out fro breakfast the weekend after. Which was convenient for him, since our class together was at nine in the morning, and I couldn't come up with any excuse to say no to him. So I had breakfast with him and it was boring. No sparks.

After that he started asking me out again. And I didn't reply to his messages. Until I finally said no. It was hard and I felt bad. He apologized after that and didn't text for the next few days. Good thing a few days before our next class he texted again, and I was grateful. Maybe things would go back to the way it was.

But seeing him again in class, it felt awkward. I did my part in giving him a cupcake I promised a few weeks before. I tried, I really did. And I even said by to him after class.

Then now he texts that I'm being so cold. And it's unfair. I'm not being cold. I'm only human, I can't act as if everything's fine and dandy. I don't know if I should reply this time. At least to defend myself. Or not to bother.

the one that got away

I need a new crush.

Because without one, I think about "the one that got away" (TOWGA), and it's not healthy. Somehow I feel that my crush on TOWGA has been blown out of proportion by my own freaking brain. My imagination's in overdrive.

I watched "What's Your Number?" this afternoon. (It was a pretty bad movie, but Chris Evans is HOT!) In the movie, Anna Faris tracked the 19 guys she's been with, with her mind set that one of them is actually the one.

Watching it, and knowing deep down, it doesn't really make sense to get back with someone when it really didn't work the first time. So why bother?

TOWGA... he's hot. He always was, he still is. But... he's an example that it just stopped in the physical. I'm trying to remember how he was as a person and I couldn't remember anything significant. I just remember how cute he is.

So I need someone who can override his memory. Now. Someone who isn't just a pretty face. Someone who has more substance and makes me laugh.

Where are you?

untitled

Sometimes I wonder why I'm still single after all this time.

People easily say it's because I have high standards. Which I don't believe in. Is it so bad to look for a bit of chemistry or spark? I've turned down a couple of guys because I didn't feel like going out with them when they asked me out. It's not because they didn't "fit my standards". It just didn't feel right. I want to be at least slightly attracted to the guy before going out with him. I don't want to go through the awkward ritual of a first date with someone I don't feel anything for. I don't want to waste his time and money.

The last one I agreed to have breakfast with him because I've run out of excuses. And after him sending flowers and a cake for Valentine's Day, I have to admit I felt that I had to repay him by agreeing to go out with him at least once. Which was wrong, if I look back. But even before I had breakfast with him, I knew I didn't want to go out with him. I wasn't exactly thrilled when I got the flowers. And on the day of the breakfast meetup, I intentionally didn't fix myself up so as not to give him the idea that the day was anything special.

I'm so bad.

But, that's more than one sign that I really didn't like the guy right, and that it was a hopeless case? Other people would say give guys a chance, but don't we know from the beginning if there's hope or not?

it's not easy

Some guys may think that girls are heartless, turning them down. Do they think it's easy rejecting someone? No, of course not. Especially when the guy could have been a potential good friend. So for guys out there, I know it may hurt. But don't think girls are enjoying turning you down.

disappointed

Sorry if it sounds a bit arrogant., but I can't deny that when it came to school, I had it easy.

Except for a very few instances, I didn't really give much effort. I never stayed up late to study for an exam. I always turned in my assignments on time or early if possible. I hated cramming. Even if I could be quite a procrastinator about other things, when it came to school work especially, I scheduled my time so that I start on it early so that I can pace the work and have it done on time.

Sometimes I don't even know how I ended up graduating with honors, grade school, high school and college. Some people can say they did their best. I know I didn't. I know I could have done more. But then again, who equates having sleepless nights with putting in more effort?

So it sucks when I found out this morning that for an exam that I studied for two weeks, reading all twelve chapters TWICE. I only got 29 out of 50. Darn. I couldn't help but fill a bit of bitterness that some of my classmates who didn't even read the chapters got higher than me. I have to admit I expected a higher great. Yes, I wasn't sure with some of my answers. Maybe the multiple choice was trickier than I though. 5 choices per question. I only had a 20% chance of getting the right answer. But I thought that me reading the materials would give me more chances to get the right ones. Guess not.

I know that it would turn out okay. Maybe it's a wake up call or something. I don't know. I'll try not to take it to heart too much. I could make up for it. I better do.