Playing with Emotions

I hate it when people make me feel guilty.

Last night, I saw the guy I've been writing about in my past few entries. We attended the same event. Somehow I knew something was wrong before the event because he didn't bother asking me what time I was going, etc. This assumption was made based on his track record for the past weeks.

He showed up late and I waved at him just like I would any other friend. He sat beside me several times, but I acted nonchalantly. I was there to be around a lot of friends. I didn't want him to stick too close (I guess my walls were up).

Somehow later that night he got a bit drunk. He sat down beside me and was edging his chair too close. He was pouring himself a drink and that was proof that he was a bit drnk because it was splashing a bit, some on me.

I'm sure my body language was obvious that I was leaning away from him.

He started saying things like "I'm glad you're here," and "Even if you don't mind my messages (via Blackberry) -- even if it hurts, it's okay -- as long as you read them."

I didn't want to respond, it just wasn't the right time. Luckily there was a diversion that allowed me to stand up and walk away.

I don't want to hurt him, but I was left with no choice. He's been moving too fast and the situation was forcing me to make a decision. I couldn't see why we couldn't just be friends first. He didn't have to smother me with calls, messages and visits. I didn't even get the chance to get to know him much because there was already the pretense that he was interested in me. It started that I was confused and didn't know. But after last night, I guess my instincts were already saying "no".

Then still talking about guilt. My employee has been on leave for weeks now. Originally she said she would be back by third week July. She moved it to beginning of August. I texted her July 31. She said just not yet.

She finally texted yesterday saying she can come back next week. Lucky for her I didn't find someone else yet. I didn't respond to her text yesterday yet. I replied this morning with a simple "ok". Then she replied with thanks and said she worried I didn't want her to come back na.

Why do people have to say things that have to make people feel guilty when I didn't do anything wrong? If I did something wrong to you then fine, put on a layer of sarcasm or something. But not when it was you who didn't do things right.