After being in Tinder for over a month now, I met someone in person for the first time last night.
Here's a rundown of how it went.
We just became a match Sunday evening, and we started corresponding then. We seemed to have gotten along well enough, since we had things in common. He was only in town for the week so we decided to meet up before he leaves. So we met up last night. He isn't the one (not because I'm THAT picky, but I'd rather not go on detail why I know he isn't it.). I know I may have earned a new friend though.
Here are few things I learned from my first Tinder eyeball (is that what you would call it?):
1. Obvious thing is to tell a friend or two the name of the person you're meeting, where and what time you're meeting. Always be careful. I didn't have problems with that though since I instinctively knew the guy was legit. (You'll know by the way you chat)
2. As soon as you THINK you've hit it off with someone, schedule a meet-up ASAP. Why? Because if you prolong chatting with him via Tinder or Whatsapp, you build an image of him in your head that's not how he actually is in person.
3. Some people have other reasons to join tinder -- I see a number of people who are obviously married and have kids and still join it; some just want a good time. But I'm sure majority are still in it mainly to find potential partners. Hey, if you meet-up and he isn't the one, there's nothing wrong with making new friends :)
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Priorities
I went for an interview Saturday afternoon for the international camp I wanted to volunteer for.
One of the case scenarios they gave me sounded like this:
"Your activity was about to start when the fellow camp staffer you've been crushing on, Rodrigo, approaches you to talk to you. Then around the same time, one of your kids come running and says the other kid is in the bathroom and isn't feeling well. Then you suddenly feel queasy too. What will you do and in what order?"
I gave my answer within the limited time. To sum it up, I made Rodrigo my last priority. I wondered if it was an analogy of my life and why I was still single. Am I putting love on hold?
I don't like it when people say that I'm single because I'm too busy or I'm career-oriented. People who know me would know that's not true. I play online games and TV shows for a significant amount of time per week. That's how un-busy or un-career-oriented I am. I would make time if any possibility of love would come by.
The closest experience I had similar to the scenario was during my college years. I dated a guy who was in the same grouping I was in for class. I was the group leader. We went out a couple of times. The guy started slacking on his work, then he admits he was doing drugs. I pretty much stopped dating him after that. I honestly don't think it meant I wasn't prioritizing him. He just wasn't what I hoped he would be. He just wasn't for me. Ktnxbye.
Let me just reverse the analogy. God has just been prioritizing other stuff for me. He knows I need to enjoy things first as a single woman until I'm ready to settle down. Then he will send the perfect guy for me. I just have to wait and see.
One of the case scenarios they gave me sounded like this:
"Your activity was about to start when the fellow camp staffer you've been crushing on, Rodrigo, approaches you to talk to you. Then around the same time, one of your kids come running and says the other kid is in the bathroom and isn't feeling well. Then you suddenly feel queasy too. What will you do and in what order?"
I gave my answer within the limited time. To sum it up, I made Rodrigo my last priority. I wondered if it was an analogy of my life and why I was still single. Am I putting love on hold?
I don't like it when people say that I'm single because I'm too busy or I'm career-oriented. People who know me would know that's not true. I play online games and TV shows for a significant amount of time per week. That's how un-busy or un-career-oriented I am. I would make time if any possibility of love would come by.
The closest experience I had similar to the scenario was during my college years. I dated a guy who was in the same grouping I was in for class. I was the group leader. We went out a couple of times. The guy started slacking on his work, then he admits he was doing drugs. I pretty much stopped dating him after that. I honestly don't think it meant I wasn't prioritizing him. He just wasn't what I hoped he would be. He just wasn't for me. Ktnxbye.
Let me just reverse the analogy. God has just been prioritizing other stuff for me. He knows I need to enjoy things first as a single woman until I'm ready to settle down. Then he will send the perfect guy for me. I just have to wait and see.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Social Media Dating
A few years ago, the closest I've gone to social media dating was when Facebook was fairly new and there was this app where you would be selling your photos. I'm not sure if you would believe me if I said I didn't do it to actually meet people. I was just in a race to raise more money than the other people. I was just happy one time when a cute chef who joined Top Chef a few years back bought one of my photos. Hahaha.
For the past couple of years though, I've been feeling like I've been in a rut in terms of meeting new people. Yes I've met some. Unfortunately most of them were younger than me, but that would need a different post to talk about my nuisances about the age of the guys I date. I've met some who were within the same age range, but either I wasn't interested in them that way, or I was interested in them but it wasn't mutual.
So my friends recently introduced me to the phone app Tinder! For those who haven't encountered Tinder, you log in with your Facebook page and some of your profile pics will be seen by others registered with the app too. You set the radius for the location of the men you want to see along with the age bracket you prefer. Since I'm 32, I was pretty generous in setting my age range from 28 to 40 years old. Might as well broaden my scope. When you view the guys' photos, you can also see if you have common friends and shared interests based on your Facebook profiles. When you see their photo you either click on the heart icon, or the X if you're not interested in them. If he clicks the heart on you, you become a match!
To date I've had 56 matches. But half of those were from those I checked out during my Hong Kong trip over New Years.
Majority of them are foreigners, only a few Filipinos. I've chatted with some of them. A couple have reached the extent that we've exchanged numbers and have added each other in Facebook.
Social media dating is quite a different experience though. For one, you're psychologically protected by your phones. I know there are risks. But in the real world, I wouldn't have had the guts to inform a guy I found him cute. But in Tinder, I didn't hesitate clicking on the heart icon if I felt like it.
Then when it comes to chatting, you haven't seen him personally so you're not sure if he looks anything close to his photos. You can't see even guess what his body language is. You don't know if he's just playing with you. And there's the limitations of chatting in the phone. With the guys I chat with using Whatsapp, I would sometimes wonder why they have replied even if I've seen that the message has been delivered (two checks).
Then I found out one guy I've been chatting with was also chatting with my friend. But I guess you can't really expect the guy to chat with only you since you're also chatting with more than one guy. Then there was this one guy who was cute and said hi. Luckily we had common friends in Facebook. And in just a few clicks I find out he's married and has a kid. WTH.
I don't know if it's even possible for people to actually get to know people in media like this. But hey, it's an interesting experience. You get to learn about different cultures. Practice a bit with small talk. Might as well enjoy the ride.
For the past couple of years though, I've been feeling like I've been in a rut in terms of meeting new people. Yes I've met some. Unfortunately most of them were younger than me, but that would need a different post to talk about my nuisances about the age of the guys I date. I've met some who were within the same age range, but either I wasn't interested in them that way, or I was interested in them but it wasn't mutual.
So my friends recently introduced me to the phone app Tinder! For those who haven't encountered Tinder, you log in with your Facebook page and some of your profile pics will be seen by others registered with the app too. You set the radius for the location of the men you want to see along with the age bracket you prefer. Since I'm 32, I was pretty generous in setting my age range from 28 to 40 years old. Might as well broaden my scope. When you view the guys' photos, you can also see if you have common friends and shared interests based on your Facebook profiles. When you see their photo you either click on the heart icon, or the X if you're not interested in them. If he clicks the heart on you, you become a match!
To date I've had 56 matches. But half of those were from those I checked out during my Hong Kong trip over New Years.
Majority of them are foreigners, only a few Filipinos. I've chatted with some of them. A couple have reached the extent that we've exchanged numbers and have added each other in Facebook.
Social media dating is quite a different experience though. For one, you're psychologically protected by your phones. I know there are risks. But in the real world, I wouldn't have had the guts to inform a guy I found him cute. But in Tinder, I didn't hesitate clicking on the heart icon if I felt like it.
Then when it comes to chatting, you haven't seen him personally so you're not sure if he looks anything close to his photos. You can't see even guess what his body language is. You don't know if he's just playing with you. And there's the limitations of chatting in the phone. With the guys I chat with using Whatsapp, I would sometimes wonder why they have replied even if I've seen that the message has been delivered (two checks).
Then I found out one guy I've been chatting with was also chatting with my friend. But I guess you can't really expect the guy to chat with only you since you're also chatting with more than one guy. Then there was this one guy who was cute and said hi. Luckily we had common friends in Facebook. And in just a few clicks I find out he's married and has a kid. WTH.
I don't know if it's even possible for people to actually get to know people in media like this. But hey, it's an interesting experience. You get to learn about different cultures. Practice a bit with small talk. Might as well enjoy the ride.
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