she's just not that into you

I couldn't help but write about this. The guy I mentioned in my previous post is just always around. He calls me, brings me some Starbucks to my class, and just leaves messages. I'm not getting any younger so I'm trying to see some potential in him. He's taller than me (which has been one of my requirements all along), has a decent job, is responsible, and he just seems so into me.

But he isn't stirring anything in me.

I'm not sure till when I would wait to conclude that it's hopeless. I just don't want to force myself and end up settling for less than what I deserve or want.

This might help other guys out there too. Here are ten signs she's just not that into you, based on my experiences. It might help girls realize too if the guy isn't just doing it for her.

1. She doesn't reply to all your text messages.
2. If she does reply, messages are short, and hardly any smiley faces.
3. She doesn't agree to watch your basketball game.
4. She doesn't answer all your phone calls. (Try calling using a different number a few minutes after she doesn't answer. And if she answers, it means you're screwed.)
5. When you bring her food, or surprise her with your presence, and she doesn't seem too thrilled. (In my experience, I feel disturbed.)
6. She only goes out with you if it's a group thing, and she knows the other people.
7. She ends up talking to the other people more during the group hangout.
8. She hasn't accepted your invite to follow her on Twitter.
9. She's still checking out other guys when she's with you.
10. She doesn't ask enough questions about you, but answers your questions about her.

Reading this, I think I already have my answer. Maybe I should save this poor guy from wasting more time and money on me.

31 Years of Solitude

My friends know that I've been single for 31 years now.

People have their own interpretations on why that is so: high standards, not going out enough, etc. (Just to make it clear, I don't think I'm ugly. Not gorgeous. But pleasant enough.)

I chatted with an old friend the other day, and she asked me if I finally have a boyfriend. I said no; that there are guys around, but there's just something off about them.

She said that it's good that I'm not settling (for less than what I deserve). I liked that she said that. Because I think that's the reason why.

I was reading one of my chick lit books, and a 40-something playboy was asked why he hasn't settled down yet. He replied, "When I meet someone I enjoy being with more than being alone. I will marry her."

Amen to that.

I've just grown to be independent, that it takes a while for me to get used to people around me.

There's this guy who seems to be interested in me. Last week I saw him with some other friends to watch a movie. We were the first two to arrive. Instead of sitting down somewhere, he said we can just walk around. Walking around the mall, I felt unease. Mainly I guess since I didn't know him well yet. But another reason was that I usually go around malls alone. Sometimes with my mom, or my sister... but usually alone. Then there's this guy who was pretty much an acquaintance still, and I wasn't comfortable walking around with him in the familiar place.

Even the first time he called me too, I felt he was disturbing my peace. (a sign that I wasn't that interested huh).

The past 31 years must have put up walls around me, and I'm afraid it would take a lot of effort for a guy to break into it.

But then again, maybe if I was equally interested in the guy, I would lower them for him.

Puppy Love

I see the interactions online of the kids from camp and I couldn't help but smile on how some of them are getting along.

There's the 12-year old kids who are supposedly together. Here's in a thread in our camp Facebook group:

Girl: I really had a rough day today... sorry :(

Boy: awwwww are you ok :(

Girl: not really :(

Boy: noooooo :(

Girl: can we talk on chat?

Sigh, puppy love. I never had one. But it's pretty cute. I don't now if I can say the same if and when I have kids though.

Sister, Sister

I truly have an odd relationship with my younger sister.

Our personalities clash. I often get pissed with her; I'm sure she feels the same way about me. If she were not my sister and --- say, was my classmate, I wouldn't be friends with her.

Case in point: we watch a lot of the same TV shows, but we download them separately. (she hogs the wifi since she also seeds.)

But despite this, I guess family's family. I worry about her when she rides the cab or the MRT wearing clothes that will attract attention. I try to help promote the pastries she makes. I buy her chocolate or ice cream when she asks me to.

I'm such a sucker.

Deal Breaker

My professor a few sems ago joked that when you get older, your standards when it comes to partners get lower. Out of desperation maybe?

How do you define your standards? People have asked me what my type was, I couldn't seem to describe it, since my past crushes have proved that I don't have a particular one.

The guy my friend's dating told me I should meet his best friend but my friend said that I only go for good boys. Somehow I know she's right; that I want someone who I can introduce to my parents. Not someone just for fun.

But I meet someone who's interested and I wonder if it's possible that he's too nice? He's tall, decent-looking and has a decent job. But he doesn't excite me. But then again, maybe I'm speaking too soon. Let's see if I'll eat my words one of these days.

A quirk about him is that he keeps on posting pictures of himself on Facebook. It's not something I'm used to. I don't take pictures of myself. That's why I rarely change my profile picture. I usually end up just cropping a picture someone took of me.

But is it a bit too much if I get turned of because he likes taking pictures of himself and posting them online?

How do I know if the deal breaker is a valid one, and not just me getting into the nitty-gritty of his personality?

Friends of Friends

Am I obliged to like the friends of my friends?

Is it equivalent to approving of friends' boyfriends or girlfriends?

My friend has been hanging out with this group of people and I feel like they (particularly one person) isn't being a good influence on her. Should I let her now or just let her be since she's old enough to make her own decisions?

At least there are only a few times I encounter them together. But I couldn't help but feel unease or even cringe whenever I'm with them.

I just hope it won't affect my friendship with my friend.

Untitled

I've never had a best friend.

Close friends, yes. I have a few. But I can't name one as my best friend. And I don't know anyone who would could me his/her best friend.

From kindergarten to high school, I jumped from peer group to peer group, trying to see where I would fit in the most. It was only in high school that I stayed with a group for more than two years.

I try to think why it's been that way for me. I was trying to fit in. And also, I have this tendency of getting tired of people. I suddenly wondered if I had commitment issues even with friends.

But I'd like to think I'm improving on it. Still no best friends. But I'm exerting more effort to keep in touch with people. Being surrounded with more friends I'm getting to know myself more.

me before you

It's been a while since a book made me really cry.

This one achieved in doing just that. The topic itself is really serious -- about a girl who took the job of being the carer for a 35-year old quadriplegic for 6 months. But the writing was great and wasn't boring at all. I managed to read it in less than 24 hours. (of course not non-stop)

I won't spoil the story, but it made me think about the disabled, people's tolerance, living life to the fullest, love, family and a lot more. It made me laugh, fall in love, and cry. It moved me so much that I had a hard time sleeping afterwards because of all the thoughts that were filling my brain.

It's a very good read, and you'd still think about it hours and days after!