Jaded

I read a quote on twitter yesterday. I couldn't remember the exact words, but it pretty much said not to attach yourself too much to anyone or else you'll just get disappointed. The second right after I read it, I was thinking "There's something wrong here." But when I thought about it further, maybe there's truth to it.

I couldn't name anyone who is my "best friend". I never had one.

Even during my grade school and high school years, I flitted in and out of barkadas (peer groups) because I couldn't fully identify myself with any of them.

In college where I was in the state university, I felt I belonged more, but I wasn't attached to anyone. I had close friends, but I didn't plan my days with them. I was still doing things independently.

There are only a few people now I can talk to about personal stuff, but it still varies. I have someone to talk about MBA stuff, someone to talk about other stuff, etc.

There has been one girl who's been the closest to what I would identify as a "best friend". We don't call each other that, but I could talk to her about a lot of stuff. She's a good listener. I guess that's why I gravitated to her whenever I had stories or problems. But she's just a very social person, and has a lot of people she talks to.

I just can't help but feel hurt if she forgets some of the stuff I've told her (even major ones). Yes, a priest can forget about my confessions, but not one of the person who I've considered one of my closest friends.

I don't know if I have high expectations, but maybe I really have to work on my expectations with people. I just hate getting disappointed.