I can't start a day without breakfast.
I needed to be in school around eight this morning. And since eight was my usual waking time, I didn't want to wake up earlier than necessary just so I can have breakfast at home. So I decided to just drop by Starbucks for a sandwich.
Now I don't go to Starbucks often enough to memorize the pastries and other food they have. So I was standing in front of the glass showcase, deliberating what to get.
I noticed a guy queued up next to me.
I automatically said, "Go ahead." I noticed he was tall. And I remember seeing him by the sidewalk earlier, and I did see he was not bad looking.
He said, "It's okay, go first."
I answered, "I haven't decided yet." This whole time though I didn't look at him directly. Gosh, at this age, I still act like a shy little school girl. (Though I don't know if "little" was ever a word that described me in the past.)
So he went ahead , and even pointed out a sandwich, which unfortunately was with SPAM. I just had SPAM a few days back and I was looking for something slightly healthier. So I picked something else.
But that's it. I knew it was opportunity, but I didn't take it. There was this decent-looking TALLER guy and I didn't even bother to look at him, smile or anything that resembled any form of flirting.
I know that a few blog entries back I wrote about preferring to meet someone in a bookstore or a coffee shop instead of a bar. It turns out I can only write about things, but never know what to do when it's already right in front of my face.
Now I'm deliberating if I should try going to Starbucks same text next Saturday, in the chance he goes there regularly. Or is that being pathetic? Should I just think that it was fate for NOTHING to happen this morning and just forget it?
Friday, December 9, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Christmas Wish List 2012
With my new blog I'm resurrecting my old tradition of posting my wishlist. I'm not listing these for other people, but more for myself. I feel like I've deprived myself a lot this year, and I just hope I manage to get at least a couple of things from the list for myself before the year ends.
1. New Phone. I'm one of those who stick to a phone for YEARS. I don't ride the trends. I just use phones to text and make seldom calls. But my phone now is too old. I don't even remember when I got it. 2007 maybe, or earlier. The screen isn't clear anymore and it's too slow. I know i can get a new phone now for less than 5K. I'm just such a procrastinator and a miser.
2. New SD Card. Part bad luck, my 2-year old SD card conked out. Will never use a card reader again.
3. New laptop. Also out of bad luck. My laptop LCD is defective. It happened shortly after the warranty. I've survived for more than a year now with it connected to a monitor. So old school. But I just can't afford to get a new one just yet. But I do know I need a new one for school and for work.
4. Kindle. Not necessarily a Kindle Fire. Even the lowest model will do. I spend a sizable amount on second-hand books mostly. So it might be a good investment to get a Kindle which costs around P3K. I just hope there are a lot of chick lit e-books available!
Not all of the items are wants, some are actually needs that I've been holding off. I just hope that 2012 will allow me more room to get the things I need and some items I want.
1. New Phone. I'm one of those who stick to a phone for YEARS. I don't ride the trends. I just use phones to text and make seldom calls. But my phone now is too old. I don't even remember when I got it. 2007 maybe, or earlier. The screen isn't clear anymore and it's too slow. I know i can get a new phone now for less than 5K. I'm just such a procrastinator and a miser.
2. New SD Card. Part bad luck, my 2-year old SD card conked out. Will never use a card reader again.
3. New laptop. Also out of bad luck. My laptop LCD is defective. It happened shortly after the warranty. I've survived for more than a year now with it connected to a monitor. So old school. But I just can't afford to get a new one just yet. But I do know I need a new one for school and for work.
4. Kindle. Not necessarily a Kindle Fire. Even the lowest model will do. I spend a sizable amount on second-hand books mostly. So it might be a good investment to get a Kindle which costs around P3K. I just hope there are a lot of chick lit e-books available!
Not all of the items are wants, some are actually needs that I've been holding off. I just hope that 2012 will allow me more room to get the things I need and some items I want.
Monday, October 24, 2011
jack of all trades, master of none
During college, classmates have convinced me that I was a great multi-tasker. But for the past few years, I've convinced myself otherwise. I'm not a multi-tasker. It's probably some form of ADHD where I can't just settle with just one task.
During one leadership class, we were asked what our strengths were. The teacher called me and my mind just blanked. What am I good at?
I'm not a great architect (I just hope no potential clients see this, haha!) and that I still have a lot to learn. I'm not a great businesswoman, but then maybe that's why I'm taking my MBA.
One time I was listening to a couple DJ's on the radio, asking the listeners, if happiness was a currency, what job would you have?
I'm not sure, really. I still would like to do what I'm doing, then instead of designing houses for clients I'll do build-and-sell (which is my future goal anyway). But I have other things I want to do. I want to write fiction, I want to produce concerts, and who knows what else!
Is it wrong to want to do a lot of stuff that I don't get the chance to master any?
During one leadership class, we were asked what our strengths were. The teacher called me and my mind just blanked. What am I good at?
I'm not a great architect (I just hope no potential clients see this, haha!) and that I still have a lot to learn. I'm not a great businesswoman, but then maybe that's why I'm taking my MBA.
One time I was listening to a couple DJ's on the radio, asking the listeners, if happiness was a currency, what job would you have?
I'm not sure, really. I still would like to do what I'm doing, then instead of designing houses for clients I'll do build-and-sell (which is my future goal anyway). But I have other things I want to do. I want to write fiction, I want to produce concerts, and who knows what else!
Is it wrong to want to do a lot of stuff that I don't get the chance to master any?
Thursday, October 20, 2011
life book
To fulfill the final requirement for one of my classes, we each have to come up with our "life book". It's pretty much like your autobiography in words and pictures.
I divided my life so far into chapters and I had some realizations. Digging through old photos (yes I had to scan very old ones as well) helped me remember.
Among all the chapters those that shine for me are my UP Arki days and my MBA days (until now). I could have filled more than one page each of photographs. These two chapters bring out my true self -- not sure if it's the best of me -- but I couldn't help but smile looking at the photos and reminiscing.
I also just realized that my few years in Singapore are a bit too surreal for me. It must be because of the different culture and the different people. I learned a lot from then, and I've made a lot of new experiences. But those few years were enough.
This class was a good reflection for me -- for the life I've led so far and how I want to continue living it.
I divided my life so far into chapters and I had some realizations. Digging through old photos (yes I had to scan very old ones as well) helped me remember.
Among all the chapters those that shine for me are my UP Arki days and my MBA days (until now). I could have filled more than one page each of photographs. These two chapters bring out my true self -- not sure if it's the best of me -- but I couldn't help but smile looking at the photos and reminiscing.
I also just realized that my few years in Singapore are a bit too surreal for me. It must be because of the different culture and the different people. I learned a lot from then, and I've made a lot of new experiences. But those few years were enough.
This class was a good reflection for me -- for the life I've led so far and how I want to continue living it.
Friday, October 14, 2011
1981
This entry will be bordering on narcissism. But I don't care. Haha.
With the acceptance that I've turned 30 this year, I've also realized that a lot of great people share my birthday. It has also been the anniversary of significant events. If John Mayer wrote a song about 1963, I would have written one about 1981.
The first great event that happened 1981 was that MTV aired for the first time on August 1. The very first video was "Video Killed the Radio Star" by the Buggles. How cool is that?
Prince Charles and Lady Diana got married. We know how that ended, but well if that didn't happen there won't be Princes William and Harry right? The world would have been two hot men less.
McDonalds opened its first branch in the Philippines.
A lot of celebrities were also born 1981:
Justin Timberlake
Howie Day
Elijah Wood
Kelly Rowland
Paris Hilton
Josh Groban
Julia Stiles
Hayden Christensen
Jessica Alba
Craig David
Anna Kournikova
Natalie Portman
Brandon Flowers
Rachel Bilson
Beyonce
Alexis Bledel
Jonathan Taylor Thomas
Serena Williams
Ivanka Trump
Britney Spears
Sienna Miller
Chad Michael Murray
Joseph Gordon Levitt
Chris Evans
Ben Barnes
Robert Buckley
Nicole Richie
There are so many more actually and seeing each one gives me pride. Maybe there was a burst of falling stars throughout this year. Who knows. So maybe people of 1981 are destined for greatness. Hahaha. But it's good to find inspiration from these people who share my age and strive to make a mark as well :)
With the acceptance that I've turned 30 this year, I've also realized that a lot of great people share my birthday. It has also been the anniversary of significant events. If John Mayer wrote a song about 1963, I would have written one about 1981.
The first great event that happened 1981 was that MTV aired for the first time on August 1. The very first video was "Video Killed the Radio Star" by the Buggles. How cool is that?
Prince Charles and Lady Diana got married. We know how that ended, but well if that didn't happen there won't be Princes William and Harry right? The world would have been two hot men less.
McDonalds opened its first branch in the Philippines.
A lot of celebrities were also born 1981:
Justin Timberlake
Howie Day
Elijah Wood
Kelly Rowland
Paris Hilton
Josh Groban
Julia Stiles
Hayden Christensen
Jessica Alba
Craig David
Anna Kournikova
Natalie Portman
Brandon Flowers
Rachel Bilson
Beyonce
Alexis Bledel
Jonathan Taylor Thomas
Serena Williams
Ivanka Trump
Britney Spears
Sienna Miller
Chad Michael Murray
Joseph Gordon Levitt
Chris Evans
Ben Barnes
Robert Buckley
Nicole Richie
There are so many more actually and seeing each one gives me pride. Maybe there was a burst of falling stars throughout this year. Who knows. So maybe people of 1981 are destined for greatness. Hahaha. But it's good to find inspiration from these people who share my age and strive to make a mark as well :)
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
or maybe it's me
I went on a semi-blind date Monday night. An old friend from high school called me last week and said she wanted me to meet someone. She doesn't know what my type is, but she gave me warning that he's not good-looking and that he's older.
I call it "semi" because I asked my friend to come with me. (Well if she gave me that kind of warning, I did need backup right?) Another reason why it's just a semi-date was that in hindsight it didn't feel like one. It just felt like normal dinner among friends, where it so happened I just met the third person for the first time.
The guy's in his early forties. Nice enough. Gentleman. Probably knew more about architecture than I did due to the number of houses he's had fixed so far, and because of all the places he's visited already.
I didn't feel any connection. And he just wasn't my type. And is it bad of me to think that he was too old (and looked it)? My friend even said he was ready to settle down and he wanted to have kids. (Gasp!) He comes from a Chinese family so maybe he's worried about having an heir.
But something he said struck me. He said out of observation, "You're the serious type?"
Now I don't know what he meant by that. Did he mean I'm boring? Or was it just a simple observation?
I know I could be serious. That I could be the rules-follower type. (though I've broken more than one rule in my life).
But what's bothersome about what he said is that it came from a 40+-year-old guy. I can take it from someone my age or younger. But from someone who's more than a decade older?
Should I consider this as a wake-up call?
I call it "semi" because I asked my friend to come with me. (Well if she gave me that kind of warning, I did need backup right?) Another reason why it's just a semi-date was that in hindsight it didn't feel like one. It just felt like normal dinner among friends, where it so happened I just met the third person for the first time.
The guy's in his early forties. Nice enough. Gentleman. Probably knew more about architecture than I did due to the number of houses he's had fixed so far, and because of all the places he's visited already.
I didn't feel any connection. And he just wasn't my type. And is it bad of me to think that he was too old (and looked it)? My friend even said he was ready to settle down and he wanted to have kids. (Gasp!) He comes from a Chinese family so maybe he's worried about having an heir.
But something he said struck me. He said out of observation, "You're the serious type?"
Now I don't know what he meant by that. Did he mean I'm boring? Or was it just a simple observation?
I know I could be serious. That I could be the rules-follower type. (though I've broken more than one rule in my life).
But what's bothersome about what he said is that it came from a 40+-year-old guy. I can take it from someone my age or younger. But from someone who's more than a decade older?
Should I consider this as a wake-up call?
Monday, October 10, 2011
am i too picky?
More than one person has asked me why I'm still single.
It's not like I know the full answer to that one. Sometimes I end up saying, "I think I'm too picky." But as soon as the words leave my lips I wonder if there's any truth to it.
Am I too picky? But it's not like I have a lot to choose from.
If I do the Ghost of Could-Have-Been-Boyfriends Past thing, what would I find out?
I'm not sure really.
I had some suitors. But most of the guys who actually did pursue me (gosh that sounds so old-fashioned, doesn't it?) fell flat. It's the usual case that those who liked me I didn't like back THAT way. And those I liked didn't like me back THAT way. There were a few instances that it became kind of mutual. But somehow one of us ends up losing interest.
I don't date that often. I don't have that much chance of meeting new people. I do. I go out. But I don't think I'll meet anyone substantial in bars. If I were to write a chick lit book and dictate what would happen to my life, I would choose to meet someone in the bookstore. Or the coffee shop. Or in some dinner party. NOT in the bar where people hardly talk.
A guy friend of mine said he'll look for someone for me. I told him my only main requirement -- okay, preference, as requirement may seem to harsh and I might end up eating my words -- is that the guy is taller than me. How hard could that be?
But even my guy friend conceded that it's hard to find a tall guy in the Philippines when the average male height is my height.
But is it so bad to prefer someone taller than me? He doesn't have to be too good-looking. Just pleasant. And that we share the same sense of humor. Is that too much?
It's not like I know the full answer to that one. Sometimes I end up saying, "I think I'm too picky." But as soon as the words leave my lips I wonder if there's any truth to it.
Am I too picky? But it's not like I have a lot to choose from.
If I do the Ghost of Could-Have-Been-Boyfriends Past thing, what would I find out?
I'm not sure really.
I had some suitors. But most of the guys who actually did pursue me (gosh that sounds so old-fashioned, doesn't it?) fell flat. It's the usual case that those who liked me I didn't like back THAT way. And those I liked didn't like me back THAT way. There were a few instances that it became kind of mutual. But somehow one of us ends up losing interest.
I don't date that often. I don't have that much chance of meeting new people. I do. I go out. But I don't think I'll meet anyone substantial in bars. If I were to write a chick lit book and dictate what would happen to my life, I would choose to meet someone in the bookstore. Or the coffee shop. Or in some dinner party. NOT in the bar where people hardly talk.
A guy friend of mine said he'll look for someone for me. I told him my only main requirement -- okay, preference, as requirement may seem to harsh and I might end up eating my words -- is that the guy is taller than me. How hard could that be?
But even my guy friend conceded that it's hard to find a tall guy in the Philippines when the average male height is my height.
But is it so bad to prefer someone taller than me? He doesn't have to be too good-looking. Just pleasant. And that we share the same sense of humor. Is that too much?
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
late bloomer
I've always considered myself as a home body.
When I was a kid until high school, I'd usually spend my time away from school at home. There were just some instances during high school when my social life was a bit healthier, but I still couldn't go out often enough since my parents wouldn't allow me some times, or I wouldn't want to bother my dad to drive me wherever.
College, it was alright. I went out sometimes with friends. But sometimes I was actually craving for a night at the bar or something that was different.
In Singapore, I had a few chances. Since the public transport system was very reliable, I was able to go out some. But then there wasn't a group of people I really wanted to hang out with. (maybe I found some, but they didn't feel the same way haha) And it didn't help that going out in Singapore was expensive -- the food, the drinks, the taxi ride back. Since I was in OFW mode then, I just stayed in most of the time.
But what a change it has been since I started to drive. There's some more freedom. A bit costly to go out often, but at least I have more chances now, and more freedom to decide if I want to go out or not. I've been meeting some new people -- and I know most of them aren't lifelong friend material. But I'll just enjoy it. I'm single and young (don't argue!) so there's no reason to stay home all the time. :)
When I was a kid until high school, I'd usually spend my time away from school at home. There were just some instances during high school when my social life was a bit healthier, but I still couldn't go out often enough since my parents wouldn't allow me some times, or I wouldn't want to bother my dad to drive me wherever.
College, it was alright. I went out sometimes with friends. But sometimes I was actually craving for a night at the bar or something that was different.
In Singapore, I had a few chances. Since the public transport system was very reliable, I was able to go out some. But then there wasn't a group of people I really wanted to hang out with. (maybe I found some, but they didn't feel the same way haha) And it didn't help that going out in Singapore was expensive -- the food, the drinks, the taxi ride back. Since I was in OFW mode then, I just stayed in most of the time.
But what a change it has been since I started to drive. There's some more freedom. A bit costly to go out often, but at least I have more chances now, and more freedom to decide if I want to go out or not. I've been meeting some new people -- and I know most of them aren't lifelong friend material. But I'll just enjoy it. I'm single and young (don't argue!) so there's no reason to stay home all the time. :)
all clear!
Finally NDG#3 has kinda gotten the message and moved on to pester a new girl -- his ex. And it seems like the girl is interested in getting back with him. It's a relief that I can go back to being friends with him, without worrying if I am giving any wrong signal :)
Sunday, September 18, 2011
maybe i'm getting it wrong
I spent the weekend with friends. Sandwiched my midterms exam with two drinking sessions (haha). It feels good to feel like having a life. But this post isn't about that.
Just had some realizations over the weekend.
Since high school, even coming from an all-girls school, I would have some guy friends. You know how it is. A group of girls become friends with another group of guys from an all-boys school. The usual case is that one of the guys is courting one of the girls, and that's how the two groups end up hanging out together.
I wasn't the one being courted.
I was the one who got along with the guys. Was one of the boys in a lot of cases. I'm not a tomboy. It's just that I've just never been the demure, meek girl that all the guys fall for. So I don't really see how guys could find me intimidating still after getting to know me.
There were some cases I would have a crush on one of the guys. But shy ol' me would be too shy with that guy. I end up talking more to the other guys I don't have a crush on, then it ends up that those guys I don't have a crush on, end up courting me. Gah.
Now that I'm taking my MBA, I've been hanging out with this group of guys. Again I'm one of the boys. I just want to hang out with them, but unfortunately, the other guys have been teasing me and probably matchmaking (not that obviously, thank God) to one of the guys. Unfortunately the guy isn't my type. Over the weekend the wife of one of the guys asked me, "What if ***** courts you?"
It caught me off guard -- all I could was shake my head and mumble something about just being friends. So she asked me, "Di mo type?" and I just shrugged.
In reality, he isn't my type. He's shorter. He looks much older than his age. And above all, we don't share the same sense of humor. In fact, I find him a bit corny. But he's a decent guy. As a friend.
But right now, I'm hoping he wouldn't think of courting me. Because I want to continue hanging out with these guys. I'm not saying that I won't want anyone to court me if I'm friends with his friends. If there's any sort of chemistry between me and the guy it would be great. I won't mind him courting me. So what if it doesn't work out, the opportunity was there.
But this guy just doesn't do it for me, sorry to say. Going back to the girl's questions, "what if he courts me?" I won't stop him, but I wish he won't. I don't know if it's wrong that I'm negative about it even before anything has happened.
How does it work? A guy asks you out, do you still yes even if he's not your type? Even after being friends for more than a year, you just don't see it going to happen. Am I still supposed to give him a chance? I know that sometime something develops between two people unexpectedly. Am I depriving myself from those things to happen? What if I've missed chances because I've been negative too early?
Am I being too much of a hopeless romantic to think that I would want to be somewhat attracted (not necessarily physically) to the person for me to go on a date with him?
Just had some realizations over the weekend.
Since high school, even coming from an all-girls school, I would have some guy friends. You know how it is. A group of girls become friends with another group of guys from an all-boys school. The usual case is that one of the guys is courting one of the girls, and that's how the two groups end up hanging out together.
I wasn't the one being courted.
I was the one who got along with the guys. Was one of the boys in a lot of cases. I'm not a tomboy. It's just that I've just never been the demure, meek girl that all the guys fall for. So I don't really see how guys could find me intimidating still after getting to know me.
There were some cases I would have a crush on one of the guys. But shy ol' me would be too shy with that guy. I end up talking more to the other guys I don't have a crush on, then it ends up that those guys I don't have a crush on, end up courting me. Gah.
Now that I'm taking my MBA, I've been hanging out with this group of guys. Again I'm one of the boys. I just want to hang out with them, but unfortunately, the other guys have been teasing me and probably matchmaking (not that obviously, thank God) to one of the guys. Unfortunately the guy isn't my type. Over the weekend the wife of one of the guys asked me, "What if ***** courts you?"
It caught me off guard -- all I could was shake my head and mumble something about just being friends. So she asked me, "Di mo type?" and I just shrugged.
In reality, he isn't my type. He's shorter. He looks much older than his age. And above all, we don't share the same sense of humor. In fact, I find him a bit corny. But he's a decent guy. As a friend.
But right now, I'm hoping he wouldn't think of courting me. Because I want to continue hanging out with these guys. I'm not saying that I won't want anyone to court me if I'm friends with his friends. If there's any sort of chemistry between me and the guy it would be great. I won't mind him courting me. So what if it doesn't work out, the opportunity was there.
But this guy just doesn't do it for me, sorry to say. Going back to the girl's questions, "what if he courts me?" I won't stop him, but I wish he won't. I don't know if it's wrong that I'm negative about it even before anything has happened.
How does it work? A guy asks you out, do you still yes even if he's not your type? Even after being friends for more than a year, you just don't see it going to happen. Am I still supposed to give him a chance? I know that sometime something develops between two people unexpectedly. Am I depriving myself from those things to happen? What if I've missed chances because I've been negative too early?
Am I being too much of a hopeless romantic to think that I would want to be somewhat attracted (not necessarily physically) to the person for me to go on a date with him?
Thursday, September 15, 2011
pathetic
Right now my two semi-crushes (allow me to qualify) are either married or about to be married.
How pathetic can I be.
And how pathetic are the options out there, that the decent men I see are already taken.
And don't worry, I won't commit any sins of coveting anyone's husband or fiance. The situation's just sad really. And that's why they're just "semi" crushes. For a bit of inspiration. Nothing more.
I miss having a real, not-just-semi-but-potential crush. Anyone out there?
How pathetic can I be.
And how pathetic are the options out there, that the decent men I see are already taken.
And don't worry, I won't commit any sins of coveting anyone's husband or fiance. The situation's just sad really. And that's why they're just "semi" crushes. For a bit of inspiration. Nothing more.
I miss having a real, not-just-semi-but-potential crush. Anyone out there?
first impressions
There are some people I dislike (or just don't care much about) at first sight. This is wrong, I know, but it's natural instinct. In some cases, when I do get the chance to get to know the person better, I'm proved wrong.
The same way I know some people may have an impression of me. One of my classmates (not so close though) insists that I'm too intimidating. Which sounds silly because why would he continue to talk to me, if I am indeed intimidating. This guy is a few years younger -- so I'll just think he's just being immature.
I told him I've accepted that some people may find me intimidating AT FIRST. I know that once they get to know me I'm pretty easy going. He debated that first impressions last. I don't think so, buddy.
I don't know if I'm being stubborn. But there's nothing I can do to change how people may perceive me at first. I can't make myself shorter. I won't change my posture.
I won't accept the theory that I'm still single because I look intimidating. I don't think all guys are weak and insecure. I've just been exposed to the wrong ones. I just have to stay patient.
The same way I know some people may have an impression of me. One of my classmates (not so close though) insists that I'm too intimidating. Which sounds silly because why would he continue to talk to me, if I am indeed intimidating. This guy is a few years younger -- so I'll just think he's just being immature.
I told him I've accepted that some people may find me intimidating AT FIRST. I know that once they get to know me I'm pretty easy going. He debated that first impressions last. I don't think so, buddy.
I don't know if I'm being stubborn. But there's nothing I can do to change how people may perceive me at first. I can't make myself shorter. I won't change my posture.
I won't accept the theory that I'm still single because I look intimidating. I don't think all guys are weak and insecure. I've just been exposed to the wrong ones. I just have to stay patient.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
no regrets?
I know people keep on saying, "Live life with no regrets." I don't know if they ever qualified what they mean by "regrets". It would be BS if I say I've lived my life so far with no regrets.
I regret not buying extra pairs of those comfy shoes from H&M Hong Kong.
I regret not meeting up with my high school barkada some December years ago.
I regret some silly stuff I did years ago.
I regret some of the things I eat. (I still remember Sir O chanting during college ... "A moment on your lips, a lifetime on your hips. Hahaha!)
I'm sure there are others.
But the point is, so what if we have regrets. Things happen for a reason. My list of regrets may be shallow in nature. But still I've probably learned something after these. Life goes on. If I end up making another decision in the near (or not) future, then so be it. Maybe I'm making less regretful decisions now since I've learned a thing or two.
So ease up, everyone.
I regret not buying extra pairs of those comfy shoes from H&M Hong Kong.
I regret not meeting up with my high school barkada some December years ago.
I regret some silly stuff I did years ago.
I regret some of the things I eat. (I still remember Sir O chanting during college ... "A moment on your lips, a lifetime on your hips. Hahaha!)
I'm sure there are others.
But the point is, so what if we have regrets. Things happen for a reason. My list of regrets may be shallow in nature. But still I've probably learned something after these. Life goes on. If I end up making another decision in the near (or not) future, then so be it. Maybe I'm making less regretful decisions now since I've learned a thing or two.
So ease up, everyone.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
obsession?
Some people I know have that "could-have-been" ex-boyfriend. Not just any of the ex-boyfriends. It's like who among the exes was the closest to happily ever after. Was just short of something.
But that doesn't apply to me. So instead of having that "could-have-been" ex, I have the "could-have-been" crush. Haha. Labo. But if people ask me what's my type of guy, I think of him. *kilig*
He's tall. He's cute. He's close to his sister and to his mom (without being a mama's boy).
Sometimes I'm kicking myself for missing my chance with him. But don't mind me. It happened more than ten years ago. My memory's fuzzy, wondering why I didn't even pay much attention to him when he was already calling me. But I'm sure our personalities didn't jive well. Why else would I have ignored him when I was the first one who was interested in him? Maybe's he's just a pretty face.
And maybe now that I haven't really liked anyone for some time now (years?) I'm trying to dig up old flames (haha!) and try to survive a bit more with those memories. I'm pretty sure I've magnified my whole crush on him.
But then again...It didn't help that I saw his photo in some print ad (I could already start singing Magasin by Eraserheads). It didn't help that I saw him in the mall after oh so many years (but dared not show myself to him). And it isn't helping that his latest FB status is "It's not like he's gonna come knocking on my door. He must have filed me as a girl who stupidly left him hanging those years ago. (But then again, he didn't try hard enough.)
I need someone REAL. I need to let go of this crazy delusion.
But that doesn't apply to me. So instead of having that "could-have-been" ex, I have the "could-have-been" crush. Haha. Labo. But if people ask me what's my type of guy, I think of him. *kilig*
He's tall. He's cute. He's close to his sister and to his mom (without being a mama's boy).
Sometimes I'm kicking myself for missing my chance with him. But don't mind me. It happened more than ten years ago. My memory's fuzzy, wondering why I didn't even pay much attention to him when he was already calling me. But I'm sure our personalities didn't jive well. Why else would I have ignored him when I was the first one who was interested in him? Maybe's he's just a pretty face.
And maybe now that I haven't really liked anyone for some time now (years?) I'm trying to dig up old flames (haha!) and try to survive a bit more with those memories. I'm pretty sure I've magnified my whole crush on him.
But then again...It didn't help that I saw his photo in some print ad (I could already start singing Magasin by Eraserheads). It didn't help that I saw him in the mall after oh so many years (but dared not show myself to him). And it isn't helping that his latest FB status is "It's not like he's gonna come knocking on my door. He must have filed me as a girl who stupidly left him hanging those years ago. (But then again, he didn't try hard enough.)
I need someone REAL. I need to let go of this crazy delusion.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
challenges
Eight months down, four months to go.
This seems to be the most challenging year in my life to date.
Juggling work, school and the business is hard. And not with regards to time. I could handle the work load. It's just budgeting the money to continuously grow the business, setting aside enough money for tuition, and relying on a project that moved much slower than expected that I'm losing interest. I made a business decision that cost me. I hope I won't have any more of those.
They're just shallow challenges, I know. But doesn't make them less tough.
I know that this is just a minor bump. Who knows after all these, maybe good things would happen hereon. I know I'm still so blessed in so many ways, and I thank God for them. I thank Him for these challenges too since I know I would come out wiser and stronger.
I just hope this bump would be over soon.
This seems to be the most challenging year in my life to date.
Juggling work, school and the business is hard. And not with regards to time. I could handle the work load. It's just budgeting the money to continuously grow the business, setting aside enough money for tuition, and relying on a project that moved much slower than expected that I'm losing interest. I made a business decision that cost me. I hope I won't have any more of those.
They're just shallow challenges, I know. But doesn't make them less tough.
I know that this is just a minor bump. Who knows after all these, maybe good things would happen hereon. I know I'm still so blessed in so many ways, and I thank God for them. I thank Him for these challenges too since I know I would come out wiser and stronger.
I just hope this bump would be over soon.
Friday, August 26, 2011
not okay with it
Some of my classmates are starting to tease me with NDG3. I was telling my friend, it doesn't matter what others think. As long as I know I didn't think there was anything to that movie and dinner hang-out.
I thought I was okay with it.
But who am I kidding? I don't like being linked to some guy that I'm not interested in. Somehow I feel that if I get linked to someone, any other potential guy would back out. Or is that stupid thinking?
I remember I dated a guy during my college years. He was from the same college, and I guess some of our common friends got hold of the news. They teased me about it, but I honestly didn't mind then. Because for that short time I was into the guy. And it was even sort of kilig to be teased.
But this time, it bothers me.
And I made a pledge in my earlier post. And I started today. We've hung out after our Friday class for a couple times now. So this time I made up some excuse I was going to meet someone, and that I had to leave asap. I always made it an excuse that I was going to kill time after class so the traffic would be better. But since I left after class today, I realized traffic wasn't so bad after all. I could do this from now on until the sem ends.
And hopefully the teasing would stop.
I thought I was okay with it.
But who am I kidding? I don't like being linked to some guy that I'm not interested in. Somehow I feel that if I get linked to someone, any other potential guy would back out. Or is that stupid thinking?
I remember I dated a guy during my college years. He was from the same college, and I guess some of our common friends got hold of the news. They teased me about it, but I honestly didn't mind then. Because for that short time I was into the guy. And it was even sort of kilig to be teased.
But this time, it bothers me.
And I made a pledge in my earlier post. And I started today. We've hung out after our Friday class for a couple times now. So this time I made up some excuse I was going to meet someone, and that I had to leave asap. I always made it an excuse that I was going to kill time after class so the traffic would be better. But since I left after class today, I realized traffic wasn't so bad after all. I could do this from now on until the sem ends.
And hopefully the teasing would stop.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
pledge
Based on the advice of some close friends, there's a chance that Non-Date Guy # 3 (who should be called NDG3 from hereon) might like me. (I added the word "might" since maybe I'm still in denial).
Knowing this, and knowing and that I don't like him THAT way, I should exercise some measures so as not to lead him on:
1. I won't hang out with him unless there are other common friends with us.
2. I will ignore his useless text messages.
3. I won't start any text conversations with him.
What else did I miss?
Knowing this, and knowing and that I don't like him THAT way, I should exercise some measures so as not to lead him on:
1. I won't hang out with him unless there are other common friends with us.
2. I will ignore his useless text messages.
3. I won't start any text conversations with him.
What else did I miss?
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
architectural go-see
Being an architect isn't so different from being an actress or a model. You make these meetings with potential clients just like a go-see . Instead of a portfolio of head shots, you have a portfolio of sample works. You put on your game face and try to impress. You match your attitude with the way you think pleases the clients.
Yes I've been a modeling go-see and it's one of those experiences that are so surreal I can't believe I actually did that.
Actresses go to all these auditions too. Give all that you've got, hope that the directors and the producers see something in you. (This I have no experience with. I can't act at all!)
Some people think that being an architect is very glamorous. But it's not. Especially if you don't work with high-profile clients. Some people may think that being a model or an actress is all glamor too. And with the very limited experience that I have and watching ANTM, people would know that it's not.
But it's tough going to an "architectural go-see". You try to gauge what the clients want. You try to decide if you want to pursue the project or not. Unlike a modeling stint, this one can haunt you for years and years. So it's tough.
If only each project was like an Extreme Makeover: Home Edition project and that it would be done in 7 days.
If only.
Yes I've been a modeling go-see and it's one of those experiences that are so surreal I can't believe I actually did that.
Actresses go to all these auditions too. Give all that you've got, hope that the directors and the producers see something in you. (This I have no experience with. I can't act at all!)
Some people think that being an architect is very glamorous. But it's not. Especially if you don't work with high-profile clients. Some people may think that being a model or an actress is all glamor too. And with the very limited experience that I have and watching ANTM, people would know that it's not.
But it's tough going to an "architectural go-see". You try to gauge what the clients want. You try to decide if you want to pursue the project or not. Unlike a modeling stint, this one can haunt you for years and years. So it's tough.
If only each project was like an Extreme Makeover: Home Edition project and that it would be done in 7 days.
If only.
this is why.
For the past three years, I've minimized cost for the business by manning the shop myself. My mom takes my place when I'm out. (She doesn't mind since she has all these Koreanovelas to watch!) But of course I greatly appreciate her help. My dad's too.
Of course there are random days (and holidays) that I just decided to close for the day. I guess the patrons of the shop are used to it. They know they can order online, or pick up from the house even as late as 11 in the evening or even on Sundays when we're closed.
I guess until it reaches the point that I really couldn't handle it anymore, I won't hire any employees yet.
And sometimes it's quite interesting to meet all these people. I'm first-name basis with some of them. I'm met some of the kids, the husbands. My friend calls it value-added service. And it touches my heart when people appreciate it. I could quote people who have said "TCP just makes it easier," and "I admire your excellent service!"
Of course it isn't always easy. There are demanding ones. There are those who order online last minute and pressure you to ship it asap so they receive the next day.
You just get all kinds. What's good is that unlike clients for architectural projects whom you're stuck with for months or even years, I just encounter the patrons of the shop, one day at a time. It's been my life for the past few years. I'm probably the only architect in the world who set up office inside a baking supplies shop. Hahahaha. But then that's me. Sometimes trying to do the unconventional stuff!
Of course there are random days (and holidays) that I just decided to close for the day. I guess the patrons of the shop are used to it. They know they can order online, or pick up from the house even as late as 11 in the evening or even on Sundays when we're closed.
I guess until it reaches the point that I really couldn't handle it anymore, I won't hire any employees yet.
And sometimes it's quite interesting to meet all these people. I'm first-name basis with some of them. I'm met some of the kids, the husbands. My friend calls it value-added service. And it touches my heart when people appreciate it. I could quote people who have said "TCP just makes it easier," and "I admire your excellent service!"
Of course it isn't always easy. There are demanding ones. There are those who order online last minute and pressure you to ship it asap so they receive the next day.
You just get all kinds. What's good is that unlike clients for architectural projects whom you're stuck with for months or even years, I just encounter the patrons of the shop, one day at a time. It's been my life for the past few years. I'm probably the only architect in the world who set up office inside a baking supplies shop. Hahahaha. But then that's me. Sometimes trying to do the unconventional stuff!
Friday, August 19, 2011
non-dates.
I've been meaning to write about this for a while now. It came about when I met up with some old friends and I remember I had a non-date with one of them a few years back. I remember because it's one of the best non-dates I've ever been to. (Not that I have been to many). But it's connected to some other non-dates I've been to recently. And about to have. But before that, here's some background.
Urbandictionary.com gives colorful definitions to non-date:
Which is true in my case. I've been to four non-dates so far. With three different guys. (Now that I write this I'm wondering about those two non-dates with that one guy...)
NON-DATE # 1
I met up with a former officemate who happened to be in Singapore when I was visting. Living in Singapore, "meeting up" was such a common thing among Filipinos. You meet up with visiting friends, friends of friends, etc. There wasn't any meaning with any of those meet ups. It was just one way to pass time and make life a tad more interesting.
I agreed to meet up with this guy. It was just dinner and walking around the city. I even remembered that since it was at the tail end of my Singapore trip I only had $10 left with me. And thank God the guy offered to pay for dinner. But that's not the point. That didn't make it one of the best non-dates I've been to. I just remembered the really good conversation. I just remembered riding the bus back that evening, thinking I had a rather pleasant night.
But it wasn't the kilig type of pleasant. It was just time well spent, catching up with an old friend. I don't know if the guy was ever interested in me. It doesn't matter anyway.
NON-DATE # 2
This one was a couple years back. I was asking some friends who wanted to watch this certain concert with me. One guy wanted to watch too, no one else did. I have to admit I hesitated then because I knew a few years back he was interested in me. But during our past conversations, he kept on saying he was going to set me up with one of his friends. So I erased any thoughts that he was still interested in me. And I was glad that we have become purely platonic.
But it didn't end well. After that the guy thought he had a chance with me. Two years later it just isn't the same. We're just civil towards each other. What a pity.
NON-DATES # 3 and #4
I grouped this because it's with the same guy and happened recently.
The first non-date with him, we were going to meet up with a couple other classmates at this bar. It seemed very harmless to me. What's so unusual about meeting up with common friends?
The second time, he asked me if I wanted to watch this movie. This was after our class. While waiting for the movie we had dinner. He paid for both. I offered to pay my share, really. But I did pay for the milk tea to bring in to the cinema.
The guy's intentions are still questionable. This has been part of my conversations with a couple of good friends. But we never really came up with a conclusion.
One minute I think it's purely platonic. The second I think maybe he's interested. But for the record, I prefer that it's the former.
Does it mean anything when the guy buys you dinner and treats you to the movies? Or is he just being generous?
Or is it me being dense here? Or instead of being dense, am I trying to convince myself and everyone that it doesn't mean anything since I don't want it to?
But as my other friend said, just go out. There's no harm. I just hope I'm not leading anyone on.
Urbandictionary.com gives colorful definitions to non-date:
When a single heterosexual male and his single heterosexual female friend go out somewhere (a movie, dinner, etc.).I was laughing reading this especially with Guy#2's remark. But I think the line that's most important is the one that says the female thinks they are going as friends.
The male is interested in dating the female but hasn't worked up the courage to tell her yet.
The female thinks they are going as friends.
Guy #1: How did your date with Tina go yesterday?
Guy #2: Oh, it was a nondate since she thought more people were coming.
Which is true in my case. I've been to four non-dates so far. With three different guys. (Now that I write this I'm wondering about those two non-dates with that one guy...)
NON-DATE # 1
I met up with a former officemate who happened to be in Singapore when I was visting. Living in Singapore, "meeting up" was such a common thing among Filipinos. You meet up with visiting friends, friends of friends, etc. There wasn't any meaning with any of those meet ups. It was just one way to pass time and make life a tad more interesting.
I agreed to meet up with this guy. It was just dinner and walking around the city. I even remembered that since it was at the tail end of my Singapore trip I only had $10 left with me. And thank God the guy offered to pay for dinner. But that's not the point. That didn't make it one of the best non-dates I've been to. I just remembered the really good conversation. I just remembered riding the bus back that evening, thinking I had a rather pleasant night.
But it wasn't the kilig type of pleasant. It was just time well spent, catching up with an old friend. I don't know if the guy was ever interested in me. It doesn't matter anyway.
NON-DATE # 2
This one was a couple years back. I was asking some friends who wanted to watch this certain concert with me. One guy wanted to watch too, no one else did. I have to admit I hesitated then because I knew a few years back he was interested in me. But during our past conversations, he kept on saying he was going to set me up with one of his friends. So I erased any thoughts that he was still interested in me. And I was glad that we have become purely platonic.
But it didn't end well. After that the guy thought he had a chance with me. Two years later it just isn't the same. We're just civil towards each other. What a pity.
NON-DATES # 3 and #4
I grouped this because it's with the same guy and happened recently.
The first non-date with him, we were going to meet up with a couple other classmates at this bar. It seemed very harmless to me. What's so unusual about meeting up with common friends?
The second time, he asked me if I wanted to watch this movie. This was after our class. While waiting for the movie we had dinner. He paid for both. I offered to pay my share, really. But I did pay for the milk tea to bring in to the cinema.
The guy's intentions are still questionable. This has been part of my conversations with a couple of good friends. But we never really came up with a conclusion.
One minute I think it's purely platonic. The second I think maybe he's interested. But for the record, I prefer that it's the former.
Does it mean anything when the guy buys you dinner and treats you to the movies? Or is he just being generous?
Or is it me being dense here? Or instead of being dense, am I trying to convince myself and everyone that it doesn't mean anything since I don't want it to?
But as my other friend said, just go out. There's no harm. I just hope I'm not leading anyone on.
starting afresh.
I have this new blog. And I'm loving it. It took me a while to finally put up one when I've been spending the past few months with lots of thoughts to share but didn't have a medium for it. I miss blogging, so here's my new attempt.
I've let go of my former one since it was focused on the chapter of my life spent in Singapore.
So much has happened since then.
I tried to summarize my life now in the blog url. Why plasteredcake? I merged two terms from two fields I've been into -- architecture and baking. Two fields not directly connected but maybe Chef Duff Goldman of Charm City Cakes (Ace of Cakes) would say otherwise. But this has been my life for the past three years: designing, construction, and running a bakery supplies store.
And I made sure they were from different fields. I didn't want to do a business that was directly related to architecture. I need to protect my sanity. I had the business when I was stressing out over a project, and vise versa. It has managed to keep me sane for the past years.
And if you didn't know, plastered also means "drunk" in slang. I'm no drunkard but this is fair warning that maybe at times my posts will not make sense! :P
Welcome to my new blog!
I've let go of my former one since it was focused on the chapter of my life spent in Singapore.
So much has happened since then.
I tried to summarize my life now in the blog url. Why plasteredcake? I merged two terms from two fields I've been into -- architecture and baking. Two fields not directly connected but maybe Chef Duff Goldman of Charm City Cakes (Ace of Cakes) would say otherwise. But this has been my life for the past three years: designing, construction, and running a bakery supplies store.
And I made sure they were from different fields. I didn't want to do a business that was directly related to architecture. I need to protect my sanity. I had the business when I was stressing out over a project, and vise versa. It has managed to keep me sane for the past years.
And if you didn't know, plastered also means "drunk" in slang. I'm no drunkard but this is fair warning that maybe at times my posts will not make sense! :P
Welcome to my new blog!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)