maybe i'm getting it wrong

I spent the weekend with friends. Sandwiched my midterms exam with two drinking sessions (haha). It feels good to feel like having a life. But this post isn't about that.

Just had some realizations over the weekend.

Since high school, even coming from an all-girls school, I would have some guy friends. You know how it is. A group of girls become friends with another group of guys from an all-boys school. The usual case is that one of the guys is courting one of the girls, and that's how the two groups end up hanging out together.

I wasn't the one being courted.

I was the one who got along with the guys. Was one of the boys in a lot of cases. I'm not a tomboy. It's just that I've just never been the demure, meek girl that all the guys fall for. So I don't really see how guys could find me intimidating still after getting to know me.

There were some cases I would have a crush on one of the guys. But shy ol' me would be too shy with that guy. I end up talking more to the other guys I don't have a crush on, then it ends up that those guys I don't have a crush on, end up courting me. Gah.

Now that I'm taking my MBA, I've been hanging out with this group of guys. Again I'm one of the boys. I just want to hang out with them, but unfortunately, the other guys have been teasing me and probably matchmaking (not that obviously, thank God) to one of the guys. Unfortunately the guy isn't my type. Over the weekend the wife of one of the guys asked me, "What if ***** courts you?"

It caught me off guard -- all I could was shake my head and mumble something about just being friends. So she asked me, "Di mo type?" and I just shrugged.

In reality, he isn't my type. He's shorter. He looks much older than his age. And above all, we don't share the same sense of humor. In fact, I find him a bit corny. But he's a decent guy. As a friend.

But right now, I'm hoping he wouldn't think of courting me. Because I want to continue hanging out with these guys. I'm not saying that I won't want anyone to court me if I'm friends with his friends. If there's any sort of chemistry between me and the guy it would be great. I won't mind him courting me. So what if it doesn't work out, the opportunity was there.

But this guy just doesn't do it for me, sorry to say. Going back to the girl's questions, "what if he courts me?" I won't stop him, but I wish he won't. I don't know if it's wrong that I'm negative about it even before anything has happened.

How does it work? A guy asks you out, do you still yes even if he's not your type? Even after being friends for more than a year, you just don't see it going to happen. Am I still supposed to give him a chance? I know that sometime something develops between two people unexpectedly. Am I depriving myself from those things to happen? What if I've missed chances because I've been negative too early?

Am I being too much of a hopeless romantic to think that I would want to be somewhat attracted (not necessarily physically) to the person for me to go on a date with him?