Almost

I didn't check Tinder for more than a couple of months because of my disappointment in the quality of the guys in it lately.

But I was bored one night this week and I decided to check it. Obviously I haven't been in it for quite a long time since even after an hour, I wasn't done browsing through all the photos of those within my range.

I "liked" some photos and even made a few matches. There was one guy I didn't particularly find cute siince he was Chinese, but his profile got my attention. He sounded like he had a good personality and it was a bonus he said he was from San Francisco. I came from SFo a couple months back for the very first time and I fell in love with the place. I still dream about going back soon. So "liking" his photo was my thirst to connect with anything related to that beautiful city.

We were a match and he was the first to message. His message was cute and I couldn't resist to reply. He already asked if we could meet and I said I wanted to get to know a little about him first.

We chatted online for an hour and I enjoyed it. He was funny, which was really important to me, so I readily agreed to meet him the following evening.

We originally decided to meet at 7:30pm, but due to an errand I had to run, I had him move the time to 8pm and to another place (but was still close enough to the original one). He was a sport enough to agree.

It was the few minutes before actually meeting him that I got nervous. For one, I wasn't really attracted to his photos. Second, meeting a person for the first time is always nerve-wracking.

But when I finally saw him in person, I was pleasantly surprised to find out he looked better than he did on his pictures (which is pretty rare since people usually post their BEST photos).

His choice to what to get was a bit odd though. Apparently he was craving for buko shake. I assumed since he was just visiting the Philippines, he didn't get enough of buko juice or shake in the US. So we spent an hour walking around the mall drinking our buko shake, and it was pretty interesting. We didn't run out of things to talk about. We discovered common things about us -- coming from conservative families and being "late bloomers", among other things.

We spent the next hour having ice cream to talk some more -- this time seated. I learned he was very family-oriented, which was a big plus for me. And I haven't asked him directly, but there was a large chance he was Catholic.

There were signs that he wanted to keep in touch. He mentioned that he wanted his sister to contact me for some pastries they could order for Christmas. And he also mentioned about their house which they might have renovated.

Or maybe he was just saying those things.

But only two hours after we met, he hinted it might be time to go home. I was a bit surprised, because I still wanted to talk. He was leaving Monday, and I wanted to get to know him some more.

Maybe he was tired.

Or maybe he was just being a gentleman and didn't want to keep me out late.

Or maybe he just wasn't so into me.

Being the girl that I am, I started thinking back to our conversation if I said something that would turn him off. He did say I was beautiful. But maybe it was because I admitted to him that he was already the fourth guy I met through Tinder. (I was his first). Or maybe it was because when he asked me if I wanted to have kids, I said I didn't know yet.

When we were walking to my car, I deliberated if I would be bold and ask him if he still had time to meet up again before he leaves. But of course I chickened out.

He didn't mention also any chance of meeting again. He just said he will contact me via Whatsapp when he's back in the US.

When I got home, I did what I usually did to my friends. I texted him to say that I was already home, just to let him know I was safe, not really thinking if he cared. He did text that he was glad we met up, and even kidded that I will always be his first. I kidded back and said, "I might have ruined it for the next ones." I realized after sending it that there were several interpretations to what I said. What I actually wanted to hint in it was that he wouldn't be able to meet anyone like me anymore. And that anyone else he would meet wouldn't be close. Arrogant, I know, but it was a joke, and I wanted him to realize that I was worth seeing again.

But I guess he interpreted it another way. He just said "Yeah I am traumatized", with a smiley face.

I just said "Damage has been done", realizing later on that there was a ring of truth in it.

He didn't reply again, which saddened me a bit.

But the ball's in his court. I did try, so I have nothing to regret.

If I never hear from him again, it's just good enough to know that there are still decent eligible guys out there. I shouldn't lose hope yet.