It's understandable that when you're out in the dating scene you would have these standards for the type of person you would want to meet and get to know.
The same goes if you go on Tinder. You don't swipe right on every guy you see. He has to pass a certain criteria you don't officially spell out.
I matched with a guy who was fairly attractive. We were chatting a bit until he asked, "Are you fit?"
I stilled when I read the question.
After a few moments, I decided to reply: "I workout regularly but I won't win any swimsuit competitions."
I was honest, and tried to inject some humor.
But somehow after that question I got lukewarm with him. I asked him, "Is that important to you?"
He said, "I like fit girls." He even said that my pictures didn't really show much.
I know I should respect his preference, and even appreciate his honesty, but the question threw me off because probably it triggered some insecurities in me.
I was overweight when I was a kid, and it was only high school onwards that I became more conscious about my eating habits and started working out. I even think I feel more confident now about my body than ever before. Of course I have my bad days, but I just motivate myself to go back on track and continue with my fitness journey.
I didn't want or have to explain to him that I work out five to six times a week, and watch what I eat most of the time. I've come a long way.
I had nothing to prove to him. I have my own goals, and I'm not doing it for anyone else but myself.
To be honest, I would prefer to be someone who would hopefully have some fitness goals as well. Knowing myself, I tend to get influenced easily and wouldn't want to spoil what I have been working for. I want to share the journey with someone. But to set the premise that "Yes, I'm fit" on the get-go gives too much pressure. I wished he would have just incorporated into our conversation questions about our lifestyles, and take it from there.
But then again, I can't re-write the script. He's a straightforward guy. I can't change that. He's not for me.
On to the next swipe.
